The same things that endeared you to your spouse before you got married can become your biggest source of concern if you’re not careful. It may be beauty, intelligence, excellent social skills, or even generosity.
The comfort, and security that draws its joys from the selfish control of the other person is unhealthy, unfair, and destructive. Bad as it is, you can’t always blame it all on the ‘controller’, the control victim is sometimes the architect of their own troubles.
I believe there is a discretion we must have, and a mode of operation, as married people that is different from the pre-marriage era. You can’t be married and be doing things like an available single who has nothing at stake. This sometimes is where trust starts to get wounded, and peace is compromised.
A married person needs a sense of restrain, maturity, accountability, and wisdom in their dealings.
And for those still searching, when the attractions in a person begin to take your breath away, be careful also to measure the character, balance, and self control of that person as well as yours, and of course deal with your insecurities if any.
You can’t marry someone to own and imprison them at the detriment of their own wellbeing.
And of course a married person needs to live up to the responsibilities and discretion befitting of that status.
Be all that you are, but maturity, wisdom, and caution must never be left out of the equation.